You know how experts say “need to de-stress? Take your dog for a walk. It [insert large and varied list of healthful benefits of dog walking here].” Well, kiss that joy goodbye, because our corporate overlords have manufactured this little device:
It's true! Now you can outfit your dog with doggie's very own Fitbit! Because of course, we need a device that monitors our dogs’ every bowel movement! I imagine the development session went something like this:
The FitBark Product Development Session: “Wait, what’s this?”, Decried our corporate overlords, “there are times when the serfs aren’t rapidly feeding their personal data into our vast machine? Unacceptable!”
And thus, the FitBark was birthed. I get it. I shared my life with three amazing dogs (all passed), and there wasn’t a single thing I wouldn’t have done to ensure their health and happiness. I still miss them a whole bunch. But a FitBark is a ‘bit’ too much, and it doesn’t tell us anything about dogs we don’t already know. Here are a few insights gained from the data collected via the FitBark (per FitBark’s website):
“Puppies are nearly twice as active as adult dogs. Activity decreases dramatically from puppy to adult age”;
“Puppies are the most active between age 3-6 months”; and
“Puppies have the most trouble sleeping at night.”
Seriously? Have you ever had a dog or known anyone who's ever had a dog?? Yes? Then you know! Two of my dogs, Cagney and Bogart, destroyed a couch — yes, a COUCH — among many other things, when they were under a year old. As adults, they were low-key and well-behaved. They didn’t so much as a nibble on a shoe.
- “Vizslas, Spaniels and Terriers require lots of activity.”
So, FitBark, you’re telling me that dogs bred for highly-active tasks (such as hunting or herding) require a bit more activity than dogs typically bred to serve as docile companion animals?
Thanks for that insight. I guess that’s why we never see Pugs performing those high-flying Frisbee tricks on YouTube!
Be honest, don't the millions of pet pictures on the Internet already tell this story???
No doubt, my Border Collie/Australian Shepherd mix Katie needed a significant amount of time and attention. And not just when she was a puppy. Making sure she was mentally AND physically exercised was the only way I could keep her from stealing my phone, wallet and keys and making a break for Mexico. Everything people say about Border Collies is true, you don't want a bored one in your house!
My point is this: there are hundreds of ways to connect with your dog, that don’t require you shipping your data to a corporation. Roll on the floor with your dog; toss a ball around with your dog; rub your dog’s belly; take your dog on car rides (if your dog doesn’t get car sick). Trust your instincts, you’ll know when something is wrong with your dog. You don’t need a machine!
Katie on the Couch. Sure, she looks relaxed, but check out the ears and eyes...she was always ready to go! God, I miss the hell of her. She was my baby.