First Roger Ailes is ousted in a sexual harassment scandal—good riddance to bad rubbish and all
that—then this week, Bill O’Reilly is booted from the airways because, shocker, he sexually harassed multiple women. Certainty, it is no surprise that Ailes and O’Reilly are misogynistic asshats. It is surprising that Fox fired them, albeit only after lawsuits and the O’Reilly Factor’s top advertisers dumped their ad buys.
Former Alaska Governor Sarah “I can see Russia from my house” Palin strongly suggested to CNN that Fox didn’t renew her contract because she refused to tolerate their sexist bullshit. And here I thought she'd do ANYTHING to maintain her celebrity. Apparently, even Sarah Palin has her limits.
Though in a most excellent example of Spazzie contrarian nature, I somewhat hope that Fox News stops doing the right thing (i.e. firing misogynistic asshats) because it’s seriously fucking with my liberal bias.
Moving onto the “Fuckwittery” part of our tale.
The White House continues to amaze the American people with it’s revolutionary “Clown Shoes Doctrine,” the main tenet of which is that no one—not U.S. allies, not U.S. enemies, not even U.S. cabinet officials—have any idea what the fuck the administration is doing. Befuddled, much?
These guys, apparently, did not know that running the world’s most powerful and influential nation would be THIS FUCKING HARD! Sure, he might drop metric fuck tons of ordinance on civilian populations, but hey, isn’t it great that President Clown Shoes Asshat is “draining the swamp?”
And please someone, ANYONE, save Sean ‘Spicy’ Spicer from himself! I just cannot watch that train wreck anymore. Maybe he misspoke; perhaps he did not intend to minimize Nazi atrocities, but for fuck sake, Sean, “Holocaust Centers?” During Passover? What the hell is wrong with you?
The Guardian posted this handy hit list: A history of Sean Spicer's gaffes as White House press secretary.
Spicy’s greatest; all him talking out of his ass. So, I must ask: if Spicy is this bad at his job, and he is the ‘face of the administration,' how clueless are the rest of these motherfuckers? Unfortunately, they’re not all just clueless. Some of them are aggressive, arrogant, thin-skinned, AND clueless.
If only we could have one of these guys back! I would even take Bush 43 back!
Then there’s this tasty tidbit: White House deflects responsibility for aircraft carrier confusion.
The White House incorrectly announced that a naval armada was sailing towards North Korea; no possible adverse follow-on effects from this little mistake, right? How sensitive could the situation in North Korea be, right? How twitchy could their crazy-ass ‘Dear Leader’ be? Surely, the Guardian is just a bunch of liberal media alarmists: North Korea nuclear threat: should California start panicking?
Fortunately, Bubba and Spazzie live in a southern state where we can legally arm ourselves, with relative ease. Might not be enough to save us from the radioactive zombie hordes moving eastward in search of flesh food, but it is a start. I wonder if Amazon has a ‘doomsday prepper’ section?
Today’s Civics Lesson: here's why the smooth transition of power, the administration speaking with one voice, and continuity of government are So. Damned. Important. If the global community perceives the U.S. as unstable, this perception weakens our security position and emboldens our enemies. And there are a lot of bad actors out there, looking for an opportunity to Fuck. Our. Shit. Up!
